Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
