my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
