She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
