I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I wear drunk well.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
