Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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