she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
