I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
