You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
In America we eat man semen.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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