i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
