remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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