We named our party play list daddy issues
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
