He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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