The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
