did you get engaged???
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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