Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Houston, we have a blender
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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