oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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