yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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