one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
