hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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