I want to have your abortion
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
