butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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