Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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