Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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