An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
