Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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