Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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