I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize