Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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