I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I didn't notice because vodka
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
