what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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