Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
