Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
