It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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