erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
