I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
