If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
