...so i touched it.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
