Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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