all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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