love makes seman taste better
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
