I showed him my bush... on skype.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
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Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
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Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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