i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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