what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
