I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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