She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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