So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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