So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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