that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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