Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
