hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
