that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
