It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
