school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
