your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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