Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
