Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
