So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We are two peas in an std pod
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
