You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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