People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
