out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
