like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
