Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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